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Rough Canvas (Nature of Desire, #6) [Reading] ➸ Rough Canvas (Nature of Desire, #6) By Joey W. Hill – Thomashillier.co.uk When his father dies, Thomas is forced to abandon a burgeoning art career in New York As difficult as it was to give up his lifelong dream, it's nothing next to walking away from the man he loves Marc When his father dies, Thomas is forced to abandon a burgeoning art career in New York As difficult as it was to give up his lifelong dream, it's nothing next to walking away from the man he loves Marcus taught him to embrace who he is, a sexual submissive who responds to the touch of only one Master But why would the sophisticated Marcus need some farm kid from the South?Then Marcus shows up and offers him a way to continue his art career and help his family There's only one hitchhe asks Thomas to spend a week with him in the Berkshires Thomas knows he should refuse But he's never been able to say no to his Master.


10 thoughts on “Rough Canvas (Nature of Desire, #6)

  1. Baba Baba says:

    5+++++ intense and evocative stars.*****Re-read June 2013. Review edited June 9, 2013

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    Don't flag my spoiler. The sexy gif has been approved by Goodreads. I have the e-mail to prove it. Thank you.
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  2. Monique Monique says:

    This Book is......AMAZING, WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, EROTIC, INTENSE, FABULOUS and so much more.......This is an excellent read, please don't be like me and wait to discover the awe inspiring Author that is Joey W Hill.

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    I started reading this book and was immediately drawn into the pages by the excellent writing of JWH, her prose flows beautifully, painting a vivid picture, immersing you into the book, grabbing tight and not letting go. Even when you have read the very last word and closed your Kindle, these characters are still with you.

    Initially, I thought this would be a BDSM novel that revolves around the club scene and although we do have a glimpse of this, in the sexually intense scenes in chapter 8 and 9 (be warned, not for the feint hearted) this book is so much more than that.

    This is the the story of Marcus, Master and Gallery Owner and Thomas, Slave and Aspiring Artist.

    In brief, Thomas leaves New York, his life with Marcus and his life's passion of becoming an acclaimed artist behind, to return home to North Carolina when his Father falls ill. His Father dies then his brother has an accident with a tractor and is left crippled and in a wheelchair. This leaves Thomas no other alternative. As the eldest brother he is honour bound by his sense of duty and responsibility to those he loves to stay home and endure his new role as the Head of the family, taking control and running the Hardware Store, trying to live up to their expectations, not wanting to disappoint.

    Without Marcus his Master, Thomas is a lost soul, existing rather than living, conforming, doing what is deemed to be right by his family and society.....but inside Thomas is drowning in his misery for what he really wants and needs. His submissive nature is taken advantage of by his bible thumping, religious, bigoted Mother and his bitter and broken Brother, who wallows in his own self pity. These two seriously had me considering anger management classes I was so cross!!!

    12 months later Marcus walks into the store.....And. onto. the. page. of. my. Kindle......a vision of beauty, perfect in every way, he demands attention with a look alone, the culture and elegance of a GQ model and an arrogant confidence of knowing he gets what he wants!!...The epitome of a dominant, oozing sexuality from every pore and what he wants is......Thomas. At this point a very sexy Mr Gandy popped into my head.....Fan!!! Mister!!! Cold shower!!!...OK, I'm good.

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    Thomas is in awe of Marcus (still drooling!!) This modest farm boy who is quite and shy and ill at ease with strangers, puts his Master on a pedestal to be worshipped, happy to be a slave at his perfect feet. He wants to be consumed by him, Marcus completes him, he wants nothing more than to serve him....desperate to obey his Master's will.

    But....his sense of duty to the family that depends on him alone stops him from realising his own passions and dreams of becoming an accomplished artist in his own right, holding onto his heart, trying to protect himself from the pain and the deep ache inside he has had since leaving New York. Knowing if he lets down his guard, he will be lost to all that is....Marcus.

    Marcus needs Thomas, just as much as Thomas needs Marcus. Thomas's artistic talent leaves him breathless, his survival is dependent on Thomas...he needs him, loves him, wants him in his life. But, succumbing to this and sharing his vulnerability would destabilise him. He needs to use all his strength and control to try to keep Thomas......the man that holds his heart and life in his hands.

    As a reader, we have an insight to both characters POV, giving us a window in which to gaze at their inner most thoughts, fears and delights, with neither of them aware of the complexities, deep emotion and the darkness buried deep within, that they are trying to keep hidden from each other. They cannot however, hide the emotional connection and the sexual tension that jumps off the pages and into your heart. They are lost souls needing each other, fitting together perfectly, their souls so intertwined that without each other they will never be whole. There is such a tenderness and beauty between them that it often brought me to tears, ripped me up and tore me apart.....my own heart breaking seeing the overwhelming love and devotion they have for each other.

    This book is not all intense and dramatic, the Master/Slave relationship is in the bedroom, out of it there is a lot of humour between the two MC and the amazing cast of secondary characters. Kathy and Walter Briggs, I want them as my Grandparents...I just fell in love with them and Julie well, she has a wicked sense of humour and I want her as my new bestie.

    Authors Note.....Yes, I had to read it right to the very end!!!! Joey W Hill in her Authors Note, describers her writing as giving the reader a moment of magic through written words. Ms Hill, truer words have never been said.......Thank you for my moment of magic, it was truly AMAZING.






  3. Mo Mo says:

    FLAGGED FOR A WORK OF ART... SOME RIGHT DICKHEADS OUT THERE


    Well this was going to be a 2 or 3 star read for me when I was about 40% in. Then it all sort of changed and I fell in love with the whole story. I did already love the characters a little bit but the writing became more poetic, the scenes became more special, the characters became more real.

    The writing was truly beautiful.

    Wheat colored grass, flowing, rippling like a lover’s muscles. Green flowing into the gold like interlocking fingers. Every part different, but all part of the whole. Birds spiraling and speaking in musical tongues, warbling, chirping, trebling the piercing shriek of a hawk. The occasional rasping calls of the crows, or the surprise of an owl’s hoot as the sun rose, giving warmth, a dying god’s gift, the promise of renewal as it moved inexorably toward the autumn cycle




    I just don’t get the whole pleasure from pain thing so when that was going on I just wanted to leave it and read another book. But the five star reviews are all over the place so I knew there was something more.

    I highlighted a lot of the second half of the book but am not going to leave quote after quote here, much as I would like to.


    Families are funny really. You have a sort of love/hate relationship with them. I am a Catholic and I sort of thought the Bible tells us to be tolerant, to accept people for what they are. Gay, Straight, Rich, Poor, we are all the same in God’s eyes. Thomas’ mother is Catholic but I suppose she would be of the “old school” where Gay people were seen as evil. Actually she was a right fucking bitch for most of the book. I seriously would like to think if either of my sons came home and told me they were Gay that I would hug them and tell them that I had no problem with that.


    SOMETIMES WHEN YOU LOSE EVERYTHING, THE LAST THING YOU WANT TO DO IS REMEMBER. AND TELLING IS REMEMBERING


    Then we have the whole rural/urban setting. I am from a small village in the West of Ireland. Himself is from a city. He cannot understand how I could stand to grow up in a place like that.


    Now I can understand his logic. I could not live there at this stage of my life. But when I was younger, I knew no different. It was home, it was family, it was friendship, it was my soul.



    This is one book that I could just go on and on and on and on about but I won’t. Thanks to Irene and the gang for encouraging making me read it. It truly was a beautiful love story.




    Of course I would love an epilogue a few years down the road, just to see where they all are. I even wanted to see if Rory got his head out of his fucking ass and redeemed himself. Silly boy

    He only knew at one time he’d been able to translate all athe raw emotion of life to a canvas. Despite how close that emotion cut to his own life, his soul had somehow found a safe haven from which to observe without becoming a paralyzed part of it



    He had a bashful tendency to look away when he smiled, but the smile was sexy, black Irish




    Yeah, yeah, have to get an Irish bit in there!!

    YIN HAD TO HAVE A YANG


  4. Dd Dd says:

    Rough Canvas


    What therefore God hath joined together,let no one put asunder.

    It was easy when I thought it was sinful,something to do with the flesh.But what I'm seeing is more than that.It's love,and love isn't a sin.So how can God be so cruel as to give that feeling to two men or two women if it's a sin?

    Thomas is working in his family's hardware store in a part of rural North Carolina.It's of course very far away from New York City where he,a God gifted rising artist had resided for the last few years.But he had to come back when twin calamities struck his family—First when his father died and second when his younger brother Rory had a tractor accident and thus ended up in a wheelchair.

    So leaden with responsibilities and guilt,he came home and took over as the head of the family.

    But tearing him apart is the truth that when he left New York,he also left the other half of him.His best friend,his lover,his Master,his life...Marcus Aurelius.

    Marcus,hard muscled six-foot of pure temptation,never opens himself to any kind of vulnerability.He owns galleries in NY and has a special talent of ferreting out true talent(which obviously made him so rich).The first time he saw Thomas,he was captivated not only by the artist's talent but also by the artist himself.And from the first time he claimed Thomas,he had known Thomas was his....

    But he lost him.He lost Thomas to fate,when Thomas left New York and him.But now,he wants him back.So as the first step,he offers Thomas the deal that he can paint while remaining in North Carolina and Marcus will take care of selling his paintings in NY.

    But Thomas had also lost his muse when he left Marcus.For him,Marcus was everything.But he couldn't have him.His family,especially his mother,a strict Catholic, can never accept their relationship...

    He was the prince of every fairy tale that had ever been written.

    Not willing to give up,Marcus asks Thomas for one week.One week with him...

    Do Thomas and Marcus finally realize that they can never live without each other?Do they accept their love for each other and realize that it is far greater than any religion?Do they finally surrender their souls to each other???

    ---Well you'll have to read the book to find out.


    And readers I vow when Marcus will lay his heart bare,all of your hearts will break---

    (to Thomas's mom)

    When he was living with me,there was one night...I couldn't sleep.I got some wine,came back and leaned against the bedroom door.There he was,asleep,the moonlight on every inch of him.

    Those incredibly talented fingers were on my pillow.He did that whenever I got up at night,to know when I came back.I looked at him and I couldn't speak,couldn't swallow.Couldn't even move.

    He made a fist,pressed it against his chest.I wanted everything for him.I wanted to see him achieve every dream,embrace every desire.I wanted to protect him from anyone who would cause him harm or a moment's pain,tear them apart with my bare hands.Never let him out of my sight even as I wanted him to stretch out his wings as far as they could go and soar.And at the bottom,top and middle of it all,I just wanted to stand there,just that way forever.Not disturb him.Just look at him and love him.Do nothing but simply love him for everything he is,a creation too perfect to be anything but God's gift to the rest of us.


    I am declaring and I do not care what anyone says, that I am in love with these two amazing men!!!



  5. Lana ❇✾DG Romance❇✾ Lana ❇✾DG Romance❇✾ says:

    5+ Utterly Brilliant Stars

    No matter what happens, I can tell you this. I will always love you. No matter what you feel you need to be, where you need to go, I’ll always know you’re mine. I understand that now.


    How do you go about reviewing a book that touched you on such an emotional level, you're still trying to work through it?

    Captivating

    Riveting

    Emotional

    Erotic

    Beautiful

    Hands down one of THE best MM Romances I have had the pleasure of reading to date

    In a word...

    INCREDIBLE

    Having read a few books by Joey Hill in the past, I knew going into this to expect a book that was as intense as it was well written. What I truly was not expecting was the range of emotions that this story would bring out in me.

    Joey took 2 characters and painted an emotionally gripping story that will keep you reading from beginning to end completely unable to set it down.

    I fell in love with Marcus in Holding The Cards. I couldn't get enough of him; the dry wit, the potent sexuality, everything about him...just GAH


    Thomas was by far one of the most endearing characters I've read. The way that he came off both strong and vulnerable is no small feat for an author to show.


    I'm in complete awe of this book. No amount of words from me will ever do it justice. I can sit here and regurgitate the plot for you, but I won't. I can sit here and attempt to write a lengthy review that this book deserves, but I won't. Because this is a book that you need to experience for yourself to even begin to come close to understand why I felt about it the way that I did.

    When I’ve come inside you, lain on you, felt you tremble, felt that silence between us that has everything…you don’t think God is there? If there is a God, I’ve felt It then, and I know you have too.

    I was a highlight slut through the whole book. There is not one chapter that I didn't highlight in this book. Not.A.One.

    I knew that when I finally got Marcus's full past it would break my heart. And my GOD. It did and then some. I was an emotional, hysterically sobbing mess for a large part of the book (mainly the last 15%).
    Sometimes when you lose everything, the last thing you want to do is remember. And telling is remembering.

    This is no light read, and it's certainly not for the faint of heart or those never having read BDSM before. What it is, is a poignant, emotional, brilliantly written love story between 2 people that that are broken in their own way but learn to heal one another. Just beautiful.

    All I can tell you is read it, read it, READ it.

    Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to deal with what will most likely be a book hangover from hell after finishing this. And I thank you



    For more reviews visit




  6. Rosalinda *KRASNORADA* Rosalinda *KRASNORADA* says:



    Rough Canvas is one of the best books I’ve ever read and it’s also my first M/M read. I am going to try my best to make justice to this AH-MAZING book with my review…



    This is the story of Marcus & Thomas. They had been together in the past but they took different paths about a year ago.

    Marcus is the Dom but he is also my favourite character in the book. You think he is strong, he knows how to control every situation but he is NOT. He’s got a heart too and you will end up loving him. He is also a smart ass and I have bookmarked most of the book with his sentences…



    “What you want is for me to bend you over this fence and fuck you hard, fill you where you’ve been empty for far too long

    Thomas is the farm sweet boy. He loves Marcus but he also loves his family so he is trying to keep them happy hiding his feelings.



    “It doesn’t always get to be about what you want. Life sometimes is making the best of what you’re given

    ***May contain spoilers***

    Elaine, Thomas mother, does not accept Thomas sexuality and she wants Thomas to marry a woman, Daralyn.

    “Oh, for Christ’s sake. Nothing is going to make your boy straight, Elaine. I didn’t drag him into anything. But you’re absolutely right. This is a battle for his soul, and while you may think I’m Lucifer, you sure as hell aren’t God. This isn’t about you or me. It’s about the gift that defines his soul more than you or I will ever hope to do. If he doesn’t have that for himself, neither of us will have anything”

    I need to say that I loved the way Marcus always tried to convince Elaine about how amazing her son was. He got so passionate about Thomas and he always protected the artist in Thomas.

    Marcus offers Thomas a way to continue his art career and help his family. But the deal is Thomas has to spend a week with him in the Berkshires.

    One week when you'll try to get me back in your bed
    Oh, there won't be any trying on that one, Thomas. We both know that's not what's in question. You'll be in my bed



    Thomas obviously accepts Marcus’ deal…

    If you only had one week to have something you always wanted that you could never have again, would you take it?
    Yes. He would. Even knowing that walking away from it at the end of the week was more than he could bear.

    Thomas has to fight his demons because in my opinion he doesn’t even accepts himself so there is no way he is gonna make his family accept him for who he is, an extraordinary person.

    “Fuck you.”
    “You do that well enough on your goddamned own. Run. Run from it all you want. Go home to your little farm and pretend there are all these noble reasons to be there rather than the truth, which is you’re a coward. Afraid to face who you are and what you want”

    It’s a hard book, specially chapters 8 & 9 as Baba told me, I am not going to deny it, but it was also very FUNNY…

    “How do you go about it with your little fiancée your mother wants to chain you to?”
    “You leave her out of it”
    “Your mother I will gladly leave out of any discussion involving sex. However, with respect to this girl… have you made out? How did you get it up? Who would you fantasize about to make her think it was all about her?”
    “You arrogant son of a –“
    “That’s what I thought”

    ”If I wanted to be psychoanalized every time I made a nasty comment, I’d go straight and find myself a girl”

    “Remember, shampoo followed by conditioner. Use the ones in the black bottles.”
    “God, I forget sometimes how gay you are”

    As the week goes by their feelings get more and more intense…

    ”No matter what happens, Marcus. With Daralyn, with any of it, you’re the only man I want. Now or forever. The only man I’ll ever let inside me again”



    “Then give me your pain Master. I can bear it as long as I know your lips will touch every mark when you’re done, signing it as your work”



    Marcus is always proving his love for Thomas, in every single way, even if Thomas is not ready to fight the whole world to protect their love.

    I loved when they met Cathy & Walter, God, I loved Cathy!

    ”Does your family live in the area, Mr…?”
    “Just Marcus will do, ma’am. My family’s in this room.”
    “When you know you’re worth loving, you can be a little imperfect”



    And what about Julie Ramirez ? What a great character!!!

    “I keep hoping you’ll come up to my place and just stand next to my bed naked and hold the vibrator. Now if you and Thomas did it… hmmm…like Thomas would hold me on his lap…he’d be naked too, of course, and you’d do the vibrator thing, and it would be like a real fantasy.”

    I don’t blame you Julie, I’ve been dreaming the same since I started the book! ;)

    I loved when Julie and Marcus were talking about Thomas and Marcus told her there was no way in hell he was going to give up on them. Aretha Franklin’s Ain’t no Way opening line was helping…

    Ain't no way for me to love you
    If you won't let me
    Ain't no way for me to give you all you need
    If you won't let me give all of me

    I loved Marcus sooo much, I know I have already said that but I can’t help it, he is a perfect hero.

    Years from now, when you've done what you think they wanted you to do and you're coming home every night to sit in your recliner with your beer gut and your passive aggression drowning in cable, you'll be hating that girl you married. The family you thought you loved. And you still won't be enough, because what they want is for you to be truly happy BEING SOMEONE YOU WERE FUCKING NEVER MEANT TO BE!

    And Thomas finally told Marcus about his feelings, aloud…

    ”I love you, Master. Love you… Come for me. Please.”
    Love you… God, finally accepting it was as bad as dying



    ”Accepting what people are, what they can’t change and loving them with every part of yourself anyway. That’s what love is about.”

    As their story comes to an end we get to know more about Marcus life and that was a hard part, I loved him more if possible after knowing about his past…



    ”If you stop loving someone, it’s easier to forget them.”

    “It’s hard, especially for a Dom, to realize that to get what you really want you have to give up control completely, just hoping to hell that Fate doesn’t kick your balls into the back of your throat.”

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  7. Blacky *Romance Addict* Blacky *Romance Addict* says:

    This is one of the best books I have read this year! The quality of the writing and the depth of emotion got me by surprise, I really didn't expect it to be this good. But WOW! Photobucket


    If I had to describe this book with one word, it would be - EMOTION

    It's there. All the time. In every sentence, in every scene. When they are together. When they are apart. Even with other characters. Just simply amazing.

    I was hooked just with that first chapter. Thomas is dealing with his melancholy and memories of the one man he can't ever forget, and that man, Marcus, has just walked in his store offering a business deal. One week with Marcus doing a big order of paintings. After some reluctance, he accepts and their affair coininues for that week alone. I won't go more into the story, if any of you decide to read it, it should be new and amazing and unexpected :)

    I'll just say - Marcus and Thomas had the most amazing chemistry, it was full of passion and love Photobucket , and so beautiful it shocked me because it doesn't happen very often that you can FEEL their love through the pages. In here, you can feel it all the freaking time! While reading the book, half of the time I wanted to cry (and I did a couple of times), the other half was fanning myself for all the hot sex scenes and clutching my stomach when it was too emotionally intense. There were some very sweet times, and I don't know why but I wanted to cry at those too Photobucket It's just that you know that they are going to go their own way once he finishes the paintings, so all the stuff they go through makes you sad.

    Best scenes:
    - when Thomas first sees Marcus in the store
    - Marcus in the car after their first meeting Photobucket
    - their picnic, oh that was beautiful Photobucket
    - Thomas takes care of Marcus after the beating
    - Thomas making the big painting that represents Marcus and him
    - this one isn't my best, it was actually the most horrible scene in the book, but I have to put it here because it made me cry like a baby ( (view spoiler)[Thomas's stupid mother ruining that painting, that was just so fucking sad to read. Heartbreaking. (hide spoiler)]


  8. Mona Mona says:

    I tried not to spoil this book for anyone, but sorry if I did. My review consist of my opinion and feelings on this book. NOT the story line...that's what the book is for and also most of the awesome reviews featured on GR :D

    description

    Where do I begin with my feeling and thoughts on this book. . .this story that pushed me out of a safe place. Protecting myself from words written in books that can tear my heart, instill feelings within me for characters that may seem fiction to others, but oh so real to me. A book that can force tears . . . tears from eyes unwilling to shed.

    description

    A story that showed me love that strips you down till you’re vulnerable, love that holds the power to expose you to unbearable pain. A love you’re willing to beg for, even when it hurts. This is Marcus and Thomas' love.

    That's when I decided not to be afraid of anything. Then you came and I remembered true fear is knowing you have something you can't bear losing.

    I don’t think, even with my feeble attempts, that I could express the depth and beauty of Marcus and Thomas’ story. Their beautiful story that’s so dark, but yet filled with light.

    description

    Together these two beautiful men were beyond intense, overwhelming in their passion and complete in their need for each other. It was amazing when they were together. And heartbreaking when I felt their pain and suffering, when torn apart.

    I don't understand what it's like to lose someone when I'm not expecting it. Have my heart torn from me and be told it's something I just have to accept it.

    description

    At times I didn't think I could handle the intensity of Marcus and Thomas’ intimacy, or the depths they took it too, if I wasn't so prepared and eased in to it by the author’s talented words. Every word, every harsh scene added in was a necessity that built this story.

    description

    Even when I’m against having such a strong dominant and a submissive in stories (personal choice), I felt the importance of it being featured here between Marcus and Thomas. The role they played is a major one in helping them cope and survive the life their given and the past they've endured. But at the same time I didn't feel these roles were over used or forced on us readers.

    description

    There was still a lightness to their relationship when it was just Marcus and Thomas. Then when it changed to Master and slave I understand the need for it, Thomas’ need to submit to Marcus as part of his nature, the person he truly is, even when he himself held back.

    Ssshh...See yourself the way I see you. Feel the way my hands touch you, think about the way I look at you. I see all of you, Thomas. You think I don't, but I do...
    You're mine. Just let go and see it.

    For Marcus’ the importance of being the Master was built from past experiences that pushed him to stay in control, when this was previously not an option when fighting for his survival. But even with this need, Marcus had to submit to Thomas, give his all, expose his darkest secrets, to truly commit to their relationship.

    Marcus needed it, needed it like air, needed some outlet for the emotion that clogged in his throat and made his heart want to explode every time he touched Thomas.

    description

    Parabelle~ Hold On For Me
    If you just stop to wind me up
    I'll race on my way

    And I will run as fast as I can
    Just to see you safe
    Just to see you open your eyes
    And see how far you could go
    If you just hold on for me

    Time will overcome it always does but now
    Am I the only one who sees the sad die young

    And I will run as fast as I can
    Just to see you safe
    Just to see you open your eyes
    And see how far you could go
    If you just hold on for me.
    From Thomas to Marcus when he needed him.

    Marcus and Thomas' story will stay with me for years to come. Its perfect, amazing and beyond any ordinary love story.

    A special thanks to Baba, for your support while reading this awesome book xx

    You're mine, pet. Mine to protect and love.

    Same goes. I'm yours, Master.


  9. Susan Susan says:


    Please pardon me while I have a moment...

    HOLY SHIT THIS BOOK IS EXQUISITE!

    Joey W. Hill, new to me author, writes like an artist. This book felt like I closed my eyes and was listening to a masterpiece composition...music that rolled over me, harshly grabbed me and pulled me under as I was drowning, and then gently brought me back up for air.

    The emotions in this book were felt so acutely in my heart, in my gut, in my fingertips, in my...ummmm...well, you know...

    The first half of the book I felt so much loss and pain and protectiveness towards Thomas. And because of it, I became obsessed with how Marcus loved him and took care of him. But, very abruptly, not subtle at all, I found myself fiercely aligned with Marcus...even to the point of getting angry at times with Thomas for hurting him.

    The most intense and ridiculously-well-written scenes (the BDSM club, the hospital, every interaction between Marcus and Thomas' mom) continue to haunt me.

    And I loved the comic relief that the character of Julie brought to the book. I'm obsessed with her.

    The book has BDSM in it, but not in a way that is in your face. I felt BDSM was used as a way to shine light into who our characters are in their core and why. For those who are not fans of BDSM, don't let that push you away from this book at all...you'll be missing out on a BEAUTIFUL love story.

    READ THIS BOOK!


  10. Vishous Vishous says:

    I have heard so much about this book and I always put it aside for one fine day, but that day came early because I was molested by several GR friends to finally read it :D
    I never read the blurb, but I read lots of reviews of my GR friends and all of them were high rated (mostly 5 stars).

    The reason I was afraid to read it was one character - Thomas - because I was afraid he would remind me of one other character which I seriously didn't like and annoyed me.

    You know that pressure when you know you have to read something and immediately backs you of the book... well I think that was the reason why I had a rocky start with it. I seriously thought about not finishing it, but I decided to take a break and catch up later. Honestly I am glad I didn't give up.
    At first I did like it, especially when I read Marcus POV, but later it all went down for me. The reason it all went down for me were the club scenes. Don't get me wrong, I was not disturbed or anything by reading it, not even happy or aroused or some other emotion, I was simply indifferent and actually didn't have the joy of turning and reading next pages. Maybe that sounds a little weird but that was how I really felt.
    Everything except that part I really enjoyed, the rest of the book I really loved.

    I thought I would love Marcus POV more but it turned up that the only reason I finished this book was actually Thomas - the character I was dreading to read about. Funny, I know :D

    I won't write about the story because there are dozens of reviews that will make you read the book as soon as possible, so I will only write how I felt about it in the end.

    The whole idea of the story was really excellent, I think that is one of the most beautiful love stories I ever read. I always love to read about that struggle with feelings, with decisions you make, with fears of your actions and in this story you have it on basicly every page.
    The writing was simply amazing! I think that I never read so many breathtaking sentences in one book ever! I was literally mesmerized how beautiful it was written.

    But through the first half of the book I had some issues. At first I didn't like Thomas that much, then I loved Marcus, then I loved Marcus with his POV, then I hated Marcus in Thomas POV, then I loved Thomas, then I hated Marcus in his POV etc. etc. etc.
    It was pretty frustrated for me to read it, but then at the second half of the book it all changed. I believe the moment where it all changed for me was the moment when Thomas beat those assholes for hurting Marcus.

    So here is what I think why was that moment essential for me to really start devouring the book - because I have mental issues and have to read about ALPHA gays, and even though Thomas was a submissive I kinda couldn't help but feel that deep down he has that beautiful, little, possessive, alpha feature even if it shows up only when protecting Marcus.

    When it comes to characters I loved them and hated them, it really depended upon the chapter. I loved Thomas but hated his constant analyzing. I loved how he saw the things around him, and the things he valued. When it comes to Marcus I hated how he didn't want to say anything about him. And I usually hate that in any book... But I loved how he surrendered to Thomas in the end, and with him being a dom, made it more beautiful.

    So when it comes to the story I would have rated it 4 stars, but in the end when I reread some of the quotes I highlighted I will give it a 5 star just because the writing was seriously amazing.

    The quotes that I loved the most were this:

    “I’ve never gotten in, so how the hell can I get out?” Thomas snarled. “You want me to be your family? You let family in. Knowing they’ll hurt you, you do it anyway, because that’s what love is. You let them in to hurt you, love you—”
    “Leave you?”

    “But what I’ve realized is that you’re the true problem. What you feel you deserve, the faith you have in us. The question isn’t do I belong in this world of yours, but do you want me to belong in it?”

    “That’s when I decided not to be afraid of anything. Then you came and I remembered that true fear is knowing you have something you can’t bear losing.”

    “You understand the darkness without ever having been in it. You see the world as it is, all its misery and pain, all the beauty that somehow rises above it, and you accept all of it. You accept me.”



    So there Blacky and Shelly B, I told you not to be afraid of my review :D


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